Thursday, January 30, 2014

Being an Adult is not for me

I've decided after much thinking that being an adult is in-fact not for me. It is however for the birds.




I can think back to this time when I was a teenager filled with angst, bitterness and, the belief that once I was an adult life would be so easy. That I would have a say and that I would have all the solutions to the problems that plagued my poor tortured 17 year old soul.
God. How naive. While I wouldn't necessarily jump back into my 17 year old life by any means I do wish that 17 year old me would have been a bit more carefree and a lot less of a cranky bitch.
Lets take a moment to discuss why being an adult is in fact for the birds and not for me.

First of all I have a serious problem with laundry. I am required to wear fancy pants to work. Those fancy pants find themselves on the floor within 3 minutes and 37 seconds of my arrival home. Which means that I have multiple outfits in one day that require washing. I just can't begin to fathom why I am 27 years old and I have yet to get to a point in my life where someone else does my laundry. Laundry is honestly killing my soul.

Next bone that I have to pick is with taxes. I mean explain to me how it is actually okay that the government gets to take some where between 500-700 dollars out of my paycheck every 2 weeks???? How is this fair!!! How is this just! Ugh it is just unbelievable and I can't. I can't deal with it. Every time I see it on my electronic pay stub I cringe. I literally feel ill.

Buying toilet paper, shampoo, face products, razors, etc. Nothing screams you are an adult quite like having to spend your hard earned money on wrinkle cream. It's the worst feeling in the world to fork over my hard earned money for toilet paper. I want to travel, shop for awesome clothes yet I have to budget for these shitty required items. I miss the days when toilet paper appeared in the cabinet, shampoo was purchased for me and appeared in the shower. I long for the days when laundry detergent flowed from its plastic spout freely like a waterfall in Hawaii. Those were the days.

I find myself excited over sales. No not the half yearly sale at Nordstroms. Not the semi annual sale at Vics. I am talking about when you find a sale on chicken. Or perhaps  your favorite yogurt. This is what my life has come to. Excitement over sales at the grocery store.

I am quite literally outraged if I am kept up past 10:15 on work nights. There is no explanation needed for this. Just no that I will literally loose it, I mean go bat shit cray if you mess with my sleep cycle.

Paying rent/mortgage. Ugh the bane of my existence. It actually really grinds my gears to think about how much money leaves my bank account each and every month so that I can cook, sleep, and make sex in a house. I think about the travels that I could be taking, the adventures I could be going on, the good deeds I could be doing with that money and I think to myself, being an adult is a really shitty deal.

And now I am going to wash dishes, prepare my laundry for a riveting saturday at the laundry mat and, cringe as I use the last drop of my ridiculously over priced face products that promise to keep me young.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

4 months later I am?

So here we are in the latter part of January and the last actual post I wrote was sometime back in hmmmm August?
A lot can happen in 4 months.
A lot.
Like for example, 3 weddings, a breakup, a bachelorette party, a 27th birthday, 4 holidays, a baby being born, a new job, a new home, and did I mention a dash of serendipity?

Lets start at the top.
I had the pleasure of watching 3 amazing couples become husband and wife since we last talked. Each wedding was completely different. Each one was completely perfect. Each one was exactly right for each couple. I danced, I drank, I celebrated their love for one another. But at each one there was a little bit of bitter me rearing her ugly head. I love weddings but having one of my own and then having said marriage fail makes weddings a bitter sweet thing for me. I can remember the way I felt on that day, like nothing in the world could ever tear me away from this man I was devoting my life to. And to sit and watch two other people do the very same thing, knowing that I failed at this very thing...a hard thing to watch. I don't doubt any of these couples love and devotion for one another, if anything being in my shoes makes me pray that they never end up where I am. And it also makes me ache to find someone that I can love that way again.

Ah yes a breakup. I think I briefly mentioned a boyfriend on here back in August. Unfortunately distance played a large role in finding out that we were just two very different people, living in two very different places, wanting two very different things. And thus we went our separate ways.

My very best friend since I was just a wild girl in highschool had a beautiful baby girl just 10 days ago. She is a stunning beauty and I couldn't be more proud of Sarah. I have gotten to watch her as she has grown into a beautiful woman and now I get to stand by her side as she grows into an amazing mother. Watching her hold her baby like she has been doing it all of her life made me lose my breath for a moment. It is one of those "time" stops things. I am blessed beyond reason.

I turned 27. Yikes I feel old. But this year was the first year in quite a few that I didn't feel the need for a huge production. I went to the ocean and had a great time but there was no big shin-dig, there was no hand made unique dress. It was just me the people I love and some good drinks.

Oh hey I got a new job. Yes finally. You don't have to hear me complain about my terrible job anymore because I am now a full on nerd. Working in our "Health Informatics" department. Verifying information to be put into user profiles. Yeah. I know. All you really need to know is I stare at spreadsheets all day and I use two monitors. NERD ALERT.

With a new job came a move. I am now free and clear of papa chucks house and living in a new home with some close friends. Its been an adjustment. I miss my friends and wish they would come hang out with me but I guess this is all a part of growing up right?

Oh yeah Serendipity. And a Bachelorette party. Well it happened on a rainy night in September. My dear sorority sister Krystal wanted just one last night of fun as a single lady before she tied the knot the next weekend. So we decided to take the Washington State Alum to a football game. It just so happened that the football game occurred on the rainiest day in Seattle in like 10 years or something crazy. So after the freezing game we take ourselves over to a bar to try and milk our bachelorette status for some free drinks. Looking like a couple of drowned rats we start soliciting the patrons of the bar across the street from the stadium when what should appear before us? A gift from God or fate itself. I remember laying eyes on him and thinking to myself, "he is hot to trot!" and then immediately remembering I had on 10 layers my pants were soaking wet, my hair was a mess and I had just been sitting in the wind in rain for 3 hours. I was doomed. No hope for me whatsoever. And then like the great sister she is the bride swooped in and played wingwoman. Some how some way this beautiful man creature asked for my number and some how some way I managed to trick him into taking me to dinner and well folks the rest is history as they say. With a few more dinners, some bumps and growing pains we are still together now. This might be some sort of record.


I know this was sort of boring but I hope to get back to my regular non sense writing about how much I love shower beers, how my dogs are my true loves of my life and other important topics later this week.

Love ya nuggets thanks for sticking through my dry spell.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Is this thing on?

Um... Hello???
It's me Ashley.
I know we haven't talked in awhile.
And most of that was because I was busy running around trying to "find" myself.
Oh and pull myself out of a dark pit of negativity.
But good news, I'm back!
And better than ever.
Life has taken me on quite the ride in the last couple years and now I intend to take life on a ride.
So buckle up kids, this beautiful mess is back and ready to write!

I've been working on my inner hipster since we last spoke FYI
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