Friday, May 24, 2013

EFF YOU PRINTER

You know what is a great way to return to your blog after a 2 week break?
A post about how much you hate you
r printer.
And I mean hate it.
My work printer that is.
Please entertain your office space imaginations right now.


Please picture me with a baseball bat beating the living ish out of a printer/copy/fax combo right now.

This is the sensor that broke and ruined my life today.
We good?
I'm not gonna lie this week has been the definition of frustrating.
Software update, electronic record transition you will be the end of me.
I am trying to stay positive and be a "team player" but I am finding it more and more difficult you guys.
Its hard to have more responsibility, higher expectations and be paid less than people who you work with.
I mean that in the fact that people who have worked here for years and years make more money than me.
However these same people aren't quite grasping our new system so well.
I don't mind taking on the extra responibility for work to make sure there is a smooth transition or to get the job done.
What I do mind is when my responsibilities and expectations are increased and people who make more money than me aren't expected to do what I do.
That is frustrating.

End rant kids.

Friday, May 3, 2013

Just call me Miranda

So a revelation was made at Wedding Wednesday.
Over a fine skype date with two of my favorite brides to be,  Ms. Marni and Trashley Shots, we discovered that I infact remind both of them of a little spit fire country singer named Miranda Lambert.

Why is this you may ask...

Because bitch be cray. And in case you are wondering so am I.
What are all of Miranda's songs about, being wild, being pist, being a man-hater, or getting piss drunk.
Well there I am.
Miranda's songs are essentially a recorded, sung version of my blog.

Let's discuss. Let's compare.

1. First Miranda has a song called "Mama's Broken Heart". It is a song about how her heart was broken and she goes bat shit cray and her mom just ain't gonna have it.

"I cut my bangs with some rusty kitchen scissors I screamed his name 'til the neighbors called the cops I numbed the pain at the expense of my liver Don’t know what I did next, all I know's I couldn’t stop"

Well... If that doesn't sound familiar I don't know what does. I can distinctly remember the time Michael broke up with me and I may or may not have had at least half a bottle of wild turkey 100% whiskey. Whoops....

2. Next Miranda has a song called "Fastest Girl In Town". She is basically talking about getting buckwild with a guy. Drinking, speeding and causing a ruckus...

"I'm feelin' frisky; You're feelin' good. I guess the whiskey Is doin' what it should"

Well don't mind if I do Miranda. Whiskey does make me quite friskey in fact.

3. One of my personal favorites by my girl Miranda "There's a Wall". Just listen to it please.

"You love me when you want to And you find reasons to fight Another lame excuse To keep the devil on you side You're trying hard to hide those scars That I've already seen Your beat up heart's not the only thing that's keeping you from me"

Well this essentially sums up my entire marriage to my ex husband. No biggie. I remember listening to this song on repeat when my ex was deployed. It explained exactly how I felt how he made me feel... it was a constant fight for his love... so happy to be where I am now and not in that position any more.

4. Now lets talk about the song "Guilty in Here". Just talkin about how hard it is to find a good man these days...

"'Cause the good ones all got wedding rings And the young ones are just too dumb And I don't think I have anymore room underneath my thumb Maybe after all the ends do justify the means Is it guilty in here or is it just me"

Hmm well... I don't know what to say here except AMEN SISTER!

5. Oh Miranda just cutting to my core with this one "More Like Her" is a perfect explanation of how I feel in oh I don't know every relationship in the history of everdom...

"You had it all for a pretty little while And some how you made me smile when I was sad You took a chance on a bruised and beaten heart And then you realized you wanted what you had I guess I should've been more like that"

Well said Miranda, well said.

So my point is basically Miranda is a wild little fiesty thing that isn't about to take no shit from anyone ever. Talk shit about her, no sir you are asking for a beat down if thats the case. Talk about her man? Prepare to meet that with a serving of ass kicking. Talk about her family, her music, her beliefs etc and she is gonna put you in your place. I love that about her and I also love that it is all packed in a fun size package. I love that she doesn't conform to the standards of fame and she eats and hunts and isnt a size 0. And she is damn proud to be an American. So I'd say if I am gonna remind my friends of someone I don't mind reminding them of Ole' Miranda. Nope I think I'll take that one to the bank Jack!






Thursday, May 2, 2013

A few reasons why my lifestyle aint perfect

Whitney wrote this wonderful post about how lifestyle bloggers aren't exactly what they seem.
I'm here to chime in and give you a few reasons why even though I write about my life I am surely not perfect, nor is my life glamorous.
I decided to write this blog because I worked in a call center and had to stare at a computer screen for 9 hours and it sounded like a good way to stay entertained.
And then I started to feel like I knew people.
And then I started to build relationships.
And then I started to feel like I wasn't the only one facing some of the challenges I have faced.
So I kept writing.

Anyway a few reasons why my lifestyle blog sucks...

1. I don't own a DSLR camera and I don't know how to use photoshop.
          Let me be the first one to tell you every picture you see on my blog is from my iphone or I stole it from the interwebz or pinterest or perhaps my facebook. I do not intend to spend hundos on a camera. Nor do I have the time to edit a photo beyond instagrizzy. Sorry but I am 100% not sorry about this. I can't be trusted with a $100.00 camera let alone one that is a G or more.

2. My life is not organized in color coordinated planners.
Yah no. Just No. Like Whitney said I can't believe that a planner is worth 60 bucks. I am probably the most unorganized person ever and I can't seem to get it together. I am busy and constantly have stuff to do but to file it in a planner or in color coordinated binders yay right.I wish I had that capacity but I don't.

3. It's not all hearts and butterflies over here.
Sometimes my life sucks. I have terrible dating stories, I get sick as a dog, I've been divorced and sometimes my job really blows. But I choose to share all of that with you. Always. I would rather be real.

4. I swear like a sailor.
I have a foul dirty mouth and I can't filter it. Ever. Sorry. So if my foul language offends you sorry for ya.

5. I have 54 followers.
I have 54 followers. I don't write every day. I don't care. I write because I like it. Because it is an outlet, because I love it. Would it be awesome if some more people hit that follow button but it isn't going to change what I write or how I write it. I'll keep doing it until it isn't fun anymore. Thats my philosophy.

6. Sometimes I get drunk and make a huge fool out of myself.
Lets face it it happens. Oh well.

7. I don't have a boyfriend or husband to take pictures of my awesome outfits.
I wish I did because well that would be awesome but I don't. I do however have lots of fun dating snafu's and tales to share with all of you. It's a real hoot if you wanna hear about my dating and or marriage disasters. I mean someone might as well enjoy the process right? Oh and perfectly style outfits would be nice too.

8. I can't keep up with the drama...
By that I mean the twit drama. I am so bad at it. Sometimes I have to call on my friends in the blogging world to update me when something really really really good happens! I want to know the juice but I just can't seem to keep up... BOO!

9. I don't even know how to post a gif and abbreviations confuse me.
I just recently figured out what a GIF was and how you go about locating them to post them. Yep. Oh and those abbreviations that people use? I normally have to google them to know what they mean. OOTD???? What does that mean? No seriously I don't know.

10. It doesn't bother me one bit that I post not so flattering photos of my self.
Exhibt A-Z.









You are welcome.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

One very big announcement!!!

Today is Wednesday.
From this day forward Wednesdays have been given a special name...
Wednesdays are reserved for something real special on this little space of mine.



WEDDING WEDNESDAY!!!!!

However obviously I am not getting married.
Get real.
However my very best friend is getting married!!!!



Clearly her fiance and I are two peas in a pod.




And I have officially been asked to be the maid of honor!!!!!
And from this day forward every Wednesday shall be Wedding Wednesday until that special day arrives!
So my own personal wedding 5 years ago?
It was a pretty small affair so any tips and suggestions would be much appreciated.
Also I am so unorganized with things like this so HELP!!!

I couldn't be more excited for these two angels!!!!
Designed with love by BDD