Friday, May 3, 2013

Just call me Miranda

So a revelation was made at Wedding Wednesday.
Over a fine skype date with two of my favorite brides to be,  Ms. Marni and Trashley Shots, we discovered that I infact remind both of them of a little spit fire country singer named Miranda Lambert.

Why is this you may ask...

Because bitch be cray. And in case you are wondering so am I.
What are all of Miranda's songs about, being wild, being pist, being a man-hater, or getting piss drunk.
Well there I am.
Miranda's songs are essentially a recorded, sung version of my blog.

Let's discuss. Let's compare.

1. First Miranda has a song called "Mama's Broken Heart". It is a song about how her heart was broken and she goes bat shit cray and her mom just ain't gonna have it.

"I cut my bangs with some rusty kitchen scissors I screamed his name 'til the neighbors called the cops I numbed the pain at the expense of my liver Don’t know what I did next, all I know's I couldn’t stop"

Well... If that doesn't sound familiar I don't know what does. I can distinctly remember the time Michael broke up with me and I may or may not have had at least half a bottle of wild turkey 100% whiskey. Whoops....

2. Next Miranda has a song called "Fastest Girl In Town". She is basically talking about getting buckwild with a guy. Drinking, speeding and causing a ruckus...

"I'm feelin' frisky; You're feelin' good. I guess the whiskey Is doin' what it should"

Well don't mind if I do Miranda. Whiskey does make me quite friskey in fact.

3. One of my personal favorites by my girl Miranda "There's a Wall". Just listen to it please.

"You love me when you want to And you find reasons to fight Another lame excuse To keep the devil on you side You're trying hard to hide those scars That I've already seen Your beat up heart's not the only thing that's keeping you from me"

Well this essentially sums up my entire marriage to my ex husband. No biggie. I remember listening to this song on repeat when my ex was deployed. It explained exactly how I felt how he made me feel... it was a constant fight for his love... so happy to be where I am now and not in that position any more.

4. Now lets talk about the song "Guilty in Here". Just talkin about how hard it is to find a good man these days...

"'Cause the good ones all got wedding rings And the young ones are just too dumb And I don't think I have anymore room underneath my thumb Maybe after all the ends do justify the means Is it guilty in here or is it just me"

Hmm well... I don't know what to say here except AMEN SISTER!

5. Oh Miranda just cutting to my core with this one "More Like Her" is a perfect explanation of how I feel in oh I don't know every relationship in the history of everdom...

"You had it all for a pretty little while And some how you made me smile when I was sad You took a chance on a bruised and beaten heart And then you realized you wanted what you had I guess I should've been more like that"

Well said Miranda, well said.

So my point is basically Miranda is a wild little fiesty thing that isn't about to take no shit from anyone ever. Talk shit about her, no sir you are asking for a beat down if thats the case. Talk about her man? Prepare to meet that with a serving of ass kicking. Talk about her family, her music, her beliefs etc and she is gonna put you in your place. I love that about her and I also love that it is all packed in a fun size package. I love that she doesn't conform to the standards of fame and she eats and hunts and isnt a size 0. And she is damn proud to be an American. So I'd say if I am gonna remind my friends of someone I don't mind reminding them of Ole' Miranda. Nope I think I'll take that one to the bank Jack!

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