Saturday, June 30, 2012

Dear Crashley and the 15 day challenge...

So I was a little late with the usual Dear Friday but I had a few things to say! Also, Sarah over at Life of Love is hosting an awesome link up challenge! Check it out over here! This also means I am writting a ridiculously long post today... but I think you guys might get used to that eventually....

Dear Sunday,
I love you. You are my day of rest. But instead of resting I will be hangin with my BFF and eating some of my favorite things in the world. Grammy is here and she is cookin up a storm!

Dear Grandparents,
How excited am I that you two sweethearts finally loaded on a plane and came to Washington all the way from Nebraska. I love you and I can’t wait for you to spoil me rotten with food and love. Yes Grandma, don’t forget that even though you are on vacation you will be cookin up your special beef and noodles. It must be done.
Look at those angels.

Dear Ryan my little redneck,
What is there to say to you other than if you still want I will gladly break your leg so you can stay here. Please be safe and come back in one piece.  Remember to update me frequently and to stalk my blog for entertainment while you are away. Please know that I will be thinking of you every day and will do my very best not to worry myself to death. This goes for my little ginger snap as well and perhaps even Big Bird even though we know he and I are too much alike to get along. Please hurry back and don’t do anything to worry me or sweet Angela while you are gone. Oh PS. Please tell Angela she can forward my holiday gift boxes to my home address while you are gone.
More on the proper way to fish another day.
Dear Crashley,
You’re behavior as of late has been quite acceptable. Because you have not recently gone on any crazy binge drinking fits, lost any valuable electronics, fallen and caused bodily harm to yourself, got into a crazy screaming match with anyone who looks at you or your friends sideways or anything remotely similar; I am concerned. It makes me feel like your time in the spot light is coming. Please do me a favor and keep yourself in check. Your sober side much appreciates it. As does your body, friends, family, and bank account.

Keep it together Crashley...

And now for the 15 day challenge......
15 fun facts about me... oh mercy... well I'll give it a go I suppose!

(1) I love gravy. Like I love it, on anything and everything. Best Gravy ever is from Lucky's Cafe in Cleveland.
(2) I was a competitive gymnast when I was in elementary school.
(3) I love Husker football, I once threw a drink on a friend for talking trash. I might have been kind of drunk...
(4) I write a food column for a magazine as well as this lil ole blog!
(5) I am suprisingly socially awkward for being in a sorority and having to be able to talk to a wall during recruitment!
(6) I hate to work out but I love to play sports!
(7) I hate to shave my legs which is unfortunate because they are really hairy, but I do get them waxed!
(9) I am the youngest of 3 and the only one with blue eyes. I don't like definitively like either of my parents.
(10) I am obsessed with Harry Potter. I didn't start reading them until I was 17 and I read all of the 5 books that were out in 1.5 months time.
(11) I ran the warrior dash last summer while having mono. I don't recommend it!
(12) I have 3 tattoos all which I have gotten in a 1 year period. They all mean something very special to me!
(13) I love to cook and one day would love to own my own catering business or restaurant.
(14) I am terribly, ridiculously unorganized and especially HATE to fold laundry.
(15) I have never traveled off of this continent and it needs to change REAL FAST!

Alright kids this is super long sorry, hope you all had a fabulous weekend!

love ya Nuggets!

Thursday, June 28, 2012

The day my life changed forever.

Okay so maybe that title is slightly dramatic. But my work days sure did change when I stumbled upon this little diddy. I was stalking the blogosphere one Tuesday morning at work and I stumbled across this little gem. Yes I have managed to talk a real blogger into taking my blog over for a day. BOOM!!! So I'll just stop talking and let Taylor take it from here, she is way better at this anyway. But you should know I love her and one day I plan to wreak havoc on DT Lincoln with this B.

Well hello there.
My name is Taylor and I blog at The Daily Tay

When Ashley and I talked about me taking over her blog for a day
the post I happened to check out of her's was called
"I love to pee outside"
And I thought, say no more.
I'm sold.
And I need to get a drink with this girl.
Like Ashley, I blog about all sorts of random shenanigans.
Usually it has to do with my dog, Harlow,
my boyfriend Chris and I drinking/eating too much in Chicago,
or any celebrity I feel like making fun of for the day.

I also like to talk about my love for college.
Or I should say the lifestyle of college.
So here is a little something I'd like to share called "Real World"

Dear Real World,

You're a bitch. 
And not a fun bitch like in the way high school girls or queer men say it to each other,
 but just a straight up bitch. 
Your cousin, College, is like ten times cooler than you. 
Even on College's worst day, like when it's super hung over, can't get out of it's dirty frat bed, 
and has left it's debit card at the Bar so it has to charge everything on it's Union Card, 
you still don't hold a candle to it. 
You, Real World, don't even hold a lighter, not even a yellow lighter. 
Where do I even begin with why you just suck so much? 
Just the fact that you insist on starting everyday so damn early.
 7:00 a.m.? 8:00 a.m.? Is there really a need for this? 
Sometimes I just don't want to get up, College never cared about this. 
But not you, you're just a real asshole like that. 
What's it matter if I don't want to show up and instead choose to lay in bed all day
 and then do all of my work from the hours of 6 p.m. - 3 a.m.,
 if the work gets done, the work gets done. 
Nope, doesn't fly with old uncle Real World. 
Not only do you insist I show up at the hours you place, 
but you're gonna make me dress up like a miniature, miserable 40 year old to do so. 
When I was with College, I dressed however I preferred. 
Yeah, sometimes I would look nice, just because I respected College 
and wanted to show him I cared, but a lot of the times I rolled up
 in sweats and a North Face- the official sponsor of College. 
He never minded, didn't insist I wear close toed heels or panty hose like a 1950's hooker. 
Sometimes I can't help but think that you're a sexist small minded douche, RR. 
But that's just my opinion what do I know? According to you, not a whole lot.

You know what else pisses me off? Your judgement. 
So what if I come to see you with bloodshot eyes, fire breath and last night's makeup? 
It's you who forced me to that point.
 College used to think that kind of behavior was cute, 
would let me ease into the next day by laying on the couch for hours on end 
watching the one channel that happened to be on the TV when it was initially turned on because most times I was too hung over to even change the channel.
 That's just how College was, understanding, compassionate and accepting of all flaws. 
Not very good looking? 
College doesn't care, take a few more shots, then check back. 
Not very smart? 
Nbd, test files for all! Don't have a lot of money? 
We'll figure something out, sell your books, sell your prescriptions, 
sell yourself in a medical study, steal from your frat's entertainment fund. 
You know who you are... Bottom line: College was a problem solver. 
The kind of guy who saw the pitcher half full.

Real World, If I had a dollar for every time I didn't feel good enough or up to par for you, 
I'd have enough money to hire the hit man I want to kill you. 
I know that's intense, but you're pretty damn intense. 
So back off, stay out of my Facebook, stay off of my blog, 
don't worry about my credit history, don't take a hair sample, don't call a reference, 
and don't ask for transcripts. 
Because college will lie for me. Back the fuck off. 
Yeah, Real World, I just said F! Deal with it. 
College always did. 
You don't see too many people walking around with the signature black T shirt that says
 "REAL WORLD" in white block letters, do you? 
No, John Belushi wouldn't have worn that 
if you paid him with an eight ball of the narcotics of his choice. 
It's because no one likes you.

I think I've said enough.
 I know this whole thing has been kind of weird, 
but that's how I'm feeling right now, kind of weird. 
You seem to have that affect on people. 
Cheers to hoping you don't cause another honest, hard working person to jump off a bridge today.

Okay, so that's it.
Hope I didn't scare ya off too bad.
So stop on by and check out my other rants.


Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Is this for effing real?

So let me just say that shit is about to get real. I have worked really hard at keeping profane language like that off of my blog but today it is completely neccessary.

So as some of you may know I have been playing mommy this week, and although I hate to admit it it honestly hasn't been that bad. But don't tell my sister that or she will start asking me to do this more often. Anyway, I have used it as a good excuse to pour a cold tall one every day regardless. So I think I have done a pretty good job. No injuries to speak of, they still have all their teeth. I have fed em pretty good (no surprise there) and I even managed to paint their nails last night. Did a mighty fine job if I don't say so myself.

Where was I going with this? Oh thats right I had a flipping fabulous day!!!
So you know how sometimes you stumble across a blog that you love? Like you instantly say to yourself holy tits this girl is basically me!!!! Well I have been having a lot of those moments lately as I explore the blog world but today was a real treat. So I spent what would normally be a boring day in my cubicle, stiffling snorts of laughter, almost peeing my pants, and muttering a ton of OH MY GOD's. It was a good Wednesday. Seriously, finding a person I can relate to in the blog world makes my job about 1 billion times more bearable due to the fact that the crazy people I have to talk to on the phone don't drive me quite as insane. Thank you blog world I love you.

So even though I woke up an hour late today and nearly gave my two nieces a full blown heart attack as I ran through the house screaming "GET UP RIGHT NOW WE ARE SO DAMN LATE" I was only 25 minutes late to work. That makes me a certifiable badass. This means I packed two lunches, served two breakfasts, took a shower, dressed two kids, fed three dogs, and dropped two kids off at daycare and still made it to work only 25 minutes late. BOOM. I might be a good mom after all... BAHAHAHAHA!

Did I mention that motherhood ends for me in about 45 minutes? AHHH yes that means I need a new excuse for this drinking every day after this work business... hmmm any ideas?

Oh my family is coming to visit! Did I mention that little golden nugget? Well they are. I love my Grandparents, they freaking rule. Like they are the old people who have been married for 50 years still hold hands and my grandpa still opens the car door for my grams. How adorable is that? I die. They haven't come to visit since I was wearing overall dresses and jelly shoes. I was in 4th grade. Usually they make me pile myself onto a plane fly to the midwest in the middle of summer and sweat my balls off to see them. So they are hopin on a big ole plane on Saturday from Nebraska and flyin on up. I plan to enjoy every moment with them those cute ole bags.  Oh and in their honor I am taking off a few days from the ole 9-6er AKA my job. Obviously I have the 4th of July off but I opted to take the followin 2 days off thus giving me Thursday-Sunday off. You bet your ass I am excited. I am not going to do a thing except stuff my face, blog stalk, drink and hopefully if the weather cooperates tan my pasty skin. I was a bit anxious about this because I started a new job a few months ago and I am not supposed to be able to use my earned time off until after my 90 days. Well this mammasita hit 90 days two weeks ago so I have been waiting patiently for that PTO time to show up on my HR account. It didn't show until today so you can imagine how I was sweating bullets wondering if it was going to show up before my time off. Not only did it show up today but I got myself 50 hours of vacation time suckas!

I feel like I needed to tell you guys something else.... well at this point I am 3/4 of the way done with my rum and splash of coke so my thoughts are eluding me... Anyway the point is I love blogging and I had a pretty fantastic day. Tomorrow I am thinking about telling you guys all about the proper way to go fishing? Eh any takers? Well we will see. Oh and just because every post needs pictures, well at least thats what all the real bloggers tell me I will share some pictures from my week of motherhood....
This is my "what the hell was I thinking face" as I was trying to get ready and had two minions watching me.

After painting Avreys nails she flailed around on the floor to dry them.

We start em young in this family. Chillin at the bar on a Sunday

Slave drivin. Get to work Minions!!!

My excellent attempt at capturing me drinking my mommy drink while blogging.

Don't mind if I do captain.

BTW that sucker is empty... this was from Monday...

Out. Note Harley has a hand down her pants. A real class act.

I did my best to exhaust them. Please be aware we were in the driveway I did not snap this photo while driving.

Alright Nuggets I think I showed motherhood who was boss but who really knows. All I know is I am pretty stoked to sleep in my bed wake up an hour later each day and bascically continue to be awesome.

Love ya Nuggets!

Monday, June 25, 2012

I love to pee outside.

You might be a redneck if....
Howdy, remember in this post I mentioned that my step mom asked me how redneck I was? Well I got to thinking… just how redneck am I? So I thought I should probably list the reasons why… So here goes it kids:
I love to pee outside. Like really I would rather. Parking lots, lakes, behind trees, friends backyards. I even used to take pictures of an old boyfriend when he would pee outside…not like that of his back geez pervs! I love it. I feel like a free spirit.

I really appreciate a good flannel. Yeah don’t get me wrong plaid is technically stylish, well I think? But I love me a good flannel. And I especially love a good man in a flannel.

I could sing along to just about any country song. Turn on hip hop and I am lost. BTW I am 25 not 45. I should probably be listening to those sweet beats but instead I love to be serenaded by Eric, Luke, and Hunter.

I love camping. But not like fluffy camping. I mean tent, fire, sleeping bag, no showers, outhouse camping. I love it. I live for the days when I get to be at Banks Lake in the middle of summer.

I think “jeeping” or “wheeling” is a legit date activity.

I also think “goin shootin” is a legit date activity.

There really is something bout a truck…

I love a good dive bar. My favorite one? The local saloon in good ole Seabeck where I grew up.

I at one point lived in a double wide.

 My family is from Nebraska.

I love to shotgun beers. And said beer should probably be Ranier or Busch.

I love walmart. Yes I said it.

I love me some Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Moonshine makes me happy. And not just because I am drunk.

Duck Dynasty makes me wanna move into the nasty dirty south.

I have a dirty mouth.
Just the usual business...

beer batting one summer...
Not only am I white trash due to my gut but those are walmart sunglasses. I was desperate ok?

Jeepin on a Sunday afternoon
at the range in Texas.

note me in the background...alone in the depths of the water...
white trash Christmas anyone?
On a four wheeler as usual.
Flannels and Elk decor, need I say more?
Just a typical chat.
 Yeah I might be a redneck. Maybe I will go find a cousin or something. PYSCH… that’s gross.
So Nuggets how redneck are ya?

love ya Nuggets!

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Oh you'll change your mind....

I am about to broach a topic that is a bit "Taboo".... one that people constantly fight with me about and that they just can't seem to understand when I try to explain. Often I am made to  feel like I am doing something wrong by making this choice, or that I am less of a woman. Today I will try to more clearly explain why I make the choice I make and why its right for me. I warn you this may be long...

But you would make such a great mom! This is the typical response I get when I make the taboo statement that I in fact do not want to be a mother. Or the ever classic “You’ll change your mind, just wait until you find the right person”. I cannot, in any more clear of a way, express to the people in my life why I do not want children other than I am selfish. It is true; I love the fact that I get to make decisions based solely on my own desires. Does this make me a bad person? Does it make me a bad woman?  I don’t think so. I like to think that my familiar-ness with myself and my ability to declare something so firmly that is considered “taboo” makes me quite intelligent. I realize that my desire to sleep in on a Saturday afternoon outweighs my desire to be a mother. I also realize that I do not in any way envy my friends and family that have to make plans based on their children. Not to mention my complete horror and terror when I think of pregnancy and childbirth. It literally scares me to death.
I think it became alarmingly clear to me that I didn’t need to be a mother shortly after my marriage ended. Of course many think that I am declaring this out of crisis, but I can honestly state that very soon after my then husband and I filed for divorce it became alarmingly clear that what I had imagined to be the “perfect” life you know; 1 husband +2 kids+ white picket fence; might actually be something that isn’t for everyone…aka me! I had always imagined my future to be the “all American life”. When that moment of “you’re life isn’t going to be what you think it is” hit me I realized something; its ok. You don’t have to have the life you thought you wanted. You can change your mind. You can do it differently. And you know what, I am ok with that. And you know what else? The longer we have been apart the more I realize that what I thought I wanted isn't really what I want at all. Could I change my mind some day down the road? Certainly, but I do not foresee this happening. Hell the only person in my family that truly believes me regarding of these statements is my sister because she knows me well enough to understand that I mean business.
Don’t get me wrong, I love kids. I die for my nieces and nephews. They are my whole world. Well not my whole world because let’s not forget that I am selfish! But I love them more than I love anything else in this entire world. I find myself longing to play an active role in their lives from now until forever. When I hold one of them in my arms I am filled with an undeniable love. I have never felt anything like the love I have for each one of them. But guess what? I love them this way because they AREN’T mine. I know that I get to give them back. That on Saturday night I don’t have to worry about whether I will be able to wake up on Sunday morning and take care of a 4 year old or a newborn. And guess what? IT’S AWESOME. I worked at a preschool I raised 30 kids for 2 years. I know how much work kids are, I know how incredibly rewarding they are, I know how they can totally melt your heart in an instant. But I also know that I love to travel, I love to explore the world, I love to do and be free. I love that I have the world at my feet and it is mine to pursue. So sue me I don’t want to be a mom. Instead I want to be the best Aunt in the entire world. I want to pursue my dreams; I want to fall in love with the world. I want to explore each and every nook and cranny of myself. I want to delight in myself and indulge myself in the process. I want to be selfish. I like to be selfish. I do not for one moment feel guilty about this.
So when I say with conviction that no I don’t want kids; I beg of you please do not judge me. Please do not look at me like I am “less of a woman”. Please do not look at me like I am foolish. Look at me with the very same respect I have for each of you mommies in the world. You are amazing, wonderful, beautiful people. You have the ability to give yourself up for another human. How amazing are you? But guess what I am kind of amazing too… I know enough about myself and my desires to do something that this world thinks is wrong. I am amazing enough to not do what “society” says I should do and instead do what I feel like I am meant to do. I ask you this which is worse; the fact that I am a woman who doesn’t want to be a mother or a woman who knows she shouldn’t be a mother becoming one? I would never ever want to bring a child into this world if I didn’t want that child with every single piece of my soul. It’s like it was said in Eat Pray Love (one of my most favorite books of all time btw) “Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it's what you want before you commit.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love and dear friends and family I just am not certain.
And now to prove I do in fact love kids...

Avrey's 3rd birthday

Holding Hudson for the first time

I love him.

Harley in Hawaii

Gavin is such a sweetheart

Do you guys still love me?

Love ya Nuggets thanks for hearin me out!

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Dear Friday...

HEY FRIDAY listen up!

Dear Friday,
Thank goodness you are here; I am so ready to have a relaxing evening filled with face stuffing,movies and perhaps a cuddle sesh.
Dear Justin Bieber,
I do not know for the life of me why I am so madly in love with you but I am. In a big sister kind of way because you being 18 grosses me out. Thanks for Believe it’s been on repeat.

Dear Summer,
Where are you? Do you remember me? I feel like the last time I really saw you was during that heat wave we had back in 2008. Please come for a visit!
oh how I miss you summer....
Dear Big Sister,
I hope you enjoy your break from motherhood; I on the other hand will be waking up waaay too early to take care of your kids, get them to daycare, myself off to work and then back to take care of them. You owe me. You know motherhood does not suit me. Enjoy Vegas without me.
I love you sister but you owe me big.
Dear Harley and Avrey,
I know I am your favorite Aunt and all so you will have no problem being sweet angels for me. Let’s not have a repeat of that one time I watched you guys when your mom decided to abandon you for drunken nights in Vegas. Avrey, that means you go to bed without screaming and crying and I won't have an anxiety attack deal? Oh and Harley don’t boss me, everyone knows I am the boss.

My Harley
My monster mini me
Dear Co-workers,
I really wish you would step up your taste in music, I mean why can’t we just all listen to Bieber all day instead of that soft rock, easy listening station. Instead I have to wait until I am all alone at the end ofthe day, whatever suckers your loss.
I just want to say thanks to you gals for being so real. How refreshing. I like it when what I see is what I get and the fact that you gal's spoke what was on your mind regardless of whether people would like it or agree is my jam. I totally commend you and honestly don’t know how you gals do what you do, I almost feel overwhelmed trying to write a post every few days so hats off to you and btw each of you has always been so sweet and welcoming to a new baby blogger. Def. not blog snobs so thanks gals!

Alright nuggets I am off to enjoy some quality sofa time.Someone get me my redneck wine glass would ya?

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

So we meet again my little chicken nuggets! The last few days at the ole' place of employement have been quite an improvement from Monday. Thank goodness! How have my little nuggets been? What have you been up to I ask? Me just the usual, stalking facebook, twitter and my normal blog spots. Oh and rocking out to Justin Bieber of course. Shall we kick of this Awkward and Awesome Thursday? Lets do it...

1.     Answering the phone at work (which I happen to do a lot of, you know like 145 calls a day…not to brag or anything) only to hear the caller on the other end of the phone say “OH SH**” my response “Um excuse me?” caller “Oh that wasn’t for you don’t worry”… Ok I guess!

2.     Why is shaved meat so creepy looking? I am talking about the kind you get from like a Greek restaurant for gyros? A log of meat being shaved just creeps me out… creep of the week.

3.     Does anyone else find it totally awkward that I saw someone vomit in the waiting room at work? Yuck.

4.     When people catch me straightening my hair at my desk. Look, I hate waking up in the morning and it seems my coworkers could really careless if I roll into work with a full-fledged cotton ball of brown hair on my head. So unless I have something to do after work chances are its ponytail time or full frizzy locks. On the off chance that I actually have to show my face to someone after work you betcha I am sitting at my cubicle straightening my hair. But that does create an awkward moment when someone catches me…

5.     That moment when you think someone you know is pregnant but you can’t be 100% sure. What’s a girl to do?  Obviously keep your mouth shut until you see the prego pics hit facebook. But I am always so nervous I am going to accuse someone of being pregnant when they aren’t.


1.     Free lunches. One of the very best things about working at a doctor’s office is that we get free food like all the time. I don’t know if you can tell from (this) post but I like to get my eatin on. And what’s better than eating? Eating free food…boom shaka laka!

2.     One of my favorite people in the world Sarah D. She kinda rocks my socks off, and not in that way weirdos. She has been one of my best friends for like 10 years almost. Gosh we are old! One of my favorite things about Sarah that I can never ever resist laughing at is that when she gets really excited she Fred Flintstones. By this I mean she taps her toes on the ground or runs in place at a rapid pace. Once I was at her place of work chillin waiting for her to get off so we could get our rodeo rollin for the weekend and as I am aimlessly perusing the iPhone world when what do I hear gleeful giggles and the undeniable sound of Fred Flinstoning happening. I burst into laughter be assured. Oh those weird looks from the other people in the waiting room? Meh worth it!

3.     Finally I would like to give a huge AWESOME to Erin at Living in Yellow, just an FYI you totally helped inspire me to stop being a “wussy wuss” as you would say and dive into this blogging world! Here I am stealing awkward and awesome Thursdays and on top of that I am about 60% less productive at work because I read your blog all day… oops

4.     5 days off in a row. Gosh I can’t wait for you. You are just around the corner, I see you and when we meet I am going to love the heck outta you.

5.     Trueblood. I have recently become obsessed. And let me just say we are in a full blown relationship. Where have I been for the last few seasons?

My awesome Sarah D

Well nuggets I hope you have an excellent weekend, I hope you have a fabulous Friday and I'm out.

Love ya Nuggets!

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Things I never want to forget....

I never want to forget…

Where I came from and how I got here.

That no matter what happens in this life God has a plan for me.

That every once in a while you just gotta step back and realize how ridiculous you are being!

That these people give up sooo much so I can do just about whatever I want.

You can’t always get what you want.

There is nothing like a baby asleep in your arms.
yes I know he isn't asleep
Anything is possible.

You don’t have to be what everyone else says/wants you to be. Be who you want to be and who God meant for you to be.

There is nothing quite like a Nebraska football game.
Everything in Moderation….

Everything really is better with bacon.
Bacon maple bars from voodo doughnut...sooo good!!!!! Don't mind us we are DEFINETLEY NOT HUNGOVER
Life is waaaay too short to be angry.

Always shake it for Luke Bryan.
I was too drunk to shake it so i just nuzzled my sister isntead! BEST CONCERT EVER!!!
The reasons I got married.(besides "you were young and dumb")
because you were in love
And the reasons I realized I neededto get a divorce(beside the fact that you were young and dumb aka one day I will elaborate but for now just know we are both happier.)
That you should fall in love when you’re ready and not when you are lonely.

The people who loved me when I wasn’t lovable at all.
your family and God.
And this amazing woman Trashley Shots.
To stop looking back, that’s not where I am headed.

How to be a kid again, even if it’s for a moment.
Me and my bestie!
Why Alpha Phi stole my heart.
Me and one of my faves, how I miss these days!
 Without great risks there is no greatreward.

The moment you fell in love with Jesus.
Love will never fail you.
To give, even when you feel like you have nothing.

To slow down, just breathe

How to be humble and grateful.

That something beautiful can comefrom nothing.

That love truly never fails.
love ya nuggets, sorry this was sooo sappy!
Designed with love by BDD