Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Be the match

Can we talk about some thing....

This guy, this guy rocks my socks off.

This guy gave up his career, his college sports career. He walked away. For a stranger. For a complete stranger he gave up his dream.

This young man became a donor at Be the match for bone marrow. The odds of being chosen are so slim. Unbelievably slim like 1 out of every 540 members on the donor list slim. He signed up and never even thought he would be a match. But when he was he didn't even think twice. He jumped at the chance to save a person's life. To change a persons life. We should all be a little more like this guy.

Almost one year ago I signed up to be a donor with Be the Match. It was my very second blogpost when I signed up to be a donor. You can read about it here.

And I hope that if I ever get that phone call that I am a match that I wont even think twice. That I won't even question it or think about that big scary needle....

We all need to be a little bit more like this guy....

Monday, April 29, 2013

Lets talk about sleep apnea

So I had a little check up with my doctor last week.
We talked about the usual issues, ya know my anxiety, my healing rib, and my inability to EVER feel rested.
I think I sleep more than anyone I know. I love it. Can't get enough. I cold just stay in bed all day. And sometimes I do because I need to.

But I never feel rested. So we had some discussions about my sleeping habits, how I wake up multiple times through out the night, how I toss and turn, how I am a mouth breather at  night, how I snore but not in the usual fashion more like an angry gremlin... yeah it's hot.
Anyway after some discussion we have concluded I need to have a sleep study.
Because there is a chance I might need a C-pap machine.

AKA the adulthood equivelent of having to wear head gear at night.

So basically you I can kiss my dating life goodbye.
Let that soak in.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Oh my I need some dating advice nuggets...

So I am imagining that all of you married ladies or the ones that have found the loves of their lives can remember back to that dating time.  Remember those butterflies and how you used to get nervous before each date? Or how you would stress over every detail, wait for every phone call and every text?

Yeah me too.

Except I have gone on a few dates with lets call this one "Hugh". And he is handsome, with a good job, funny, works out, crossfit trainer etc. He is kind of the whole package as far as all of that goes.

But no butterflies. No nerves. Last night I went over for dinner and wore yoga pants and a tee. It was our 4th date. And I can honestly say I haven't missed him at any point apart over the last few weeks.

No biggie you can't have wild unbelievable chemistry with em all right?

Here is the issue.... how do you tell someone you don't want to date them when they haven't done anything wrong. There is nothing wrong with him other than he just doesn't turn me into a giddy love stricken 15 year old...

Oh mercy now do you guys get why I say dating is for the birds???

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Dear Future Mr. Mess of Chaos

So Stephanie over at Bourbon and Glitter, kind of a genius. And by kind of I mean full blown. She wrote a letter to her future husband as a warning. And I have to steal it. That is all there is to it folks. It's that badass. Except I don't know if I ever want to get married again... maybe I just want a domestic partner? Anyway I'll figure that out when I meet someone who I would like to keep around longer than a few days.

Dear future Mr. Mess of Chaos,

Let's start this off by me saying you must be a saint if you managed to put a ring on it. I mean I might be the most difficult person in the history of dating to tie down. Commitment phobe? That doesn't even begin to sum it up. I change how I feel as much as Elizabeth Taylor changed husbands. Probably even more frequent than that. Bitches be Cray is all I have to say about that.

You are probably well aware of the fact that I quite honestly hate laundry. If you wanted to make me the happiest wife in the world you will either love to fold laundry or you will hire someone to do it for me. Otherwise be aware your clothes will be in a pile on the floor/couch/laundry room. That will never change so don't even try.

You better like to exercise cuz momma loves to cook. And not that healthy paleo bs. I am talking comfort food meat and potatoes. So you better get youself to a gym unless you plan on being a grade a fat ass which lez be honest that aint gonna fly. So you eat and then work out got it? Oh and don't even think about trying to force me to a gym.

Rooskey and Bella. I promise you that if you lay one hand on these little nuggets death will come for you and swiftly. Very swiftly. You better act like you love small dogs more than you love your mother. Those are my babies and if you plan on being my mister you better get on board.

I don't do confrontation. I don't mean that I can't talk about my problems because I totally can. I can totally let you know when you hurt my feelings, pist me off or made me the happiest girl in a million years. But the moment I feel trapped in a corner or you raise your voice or you are too near me when you are getting upset I will become a full blown snapping turtle or perhaps one of those poison spitting raptors. I can't. I have been there done that and if you can't communicate with me appropriately you gots to go.

I love to consume copius amounts of booze on days that start with the letter F and S. And if you gots a problem with that then we gots a problem. Girlfreeeennnn needs her nectar.

I like pet names. A lot. Be prepared to be called some of the following: muffin, lovebug, loverpants, lover bear, babe, cupcake, dear, lovey etc. Also a specific nickname will be given to you that is only used as your name under my contacts, on my blog and in conversation with friends.

Kids. Nope. That's all I gotta say about that.

But let me say this, one night very recently after my divorce I was reading the book Eat, Pray, Love and something happened to me. I read this page and I got it, so if I love you it will look a whole lot like this:
"Moreover, I have boundary issues with men...to have issues with boundaries, one must have boundaries in the first place right? But I disappear into the person I love....if I love you, you can have everything. you can have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my family, my dog, my dogs money, my dogs time- everything......I will give you all this and more until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else. I do not relay these facts about myself with pride but this is how its always been."
The crazy girl that you gave a diamond to

Monday, April 22, 2013

April 22 2012

This day. This day was the day I saw the hearts all around me break.
This day. This day was the day that my tears even failed me.
This day. This day was the day that my mind went blank.
This day. This day was the day I felt helpless.
This day. This day was the day I felt unspeakable sadness.
This day. This day was the first day I heard misery in my brothers voice.
This day. This day was the day tears were shed for a life lost too soon.
This day. This day was the day the world lost someone truly unique.
This day. This day was the day that I lost a person who touched my life.
This day. This day was the day we lost a part of our family.
This day. This day one year ago my brothers best friend in the entire world was tragically taken from us.
This day. This day is the day I lost a man who was a part of my whole life, from the time I can remember.
This day. This day was the day a mother lost her son.
This day. This day was the day a big brother found out his little brother was gone.
This day. This day was the day a niece lost her uncle.
This day. This day was the day an uncle had to travel to Mexico to identify and retrieve his nephew.
This day. This day was the day the diving world lost an amazing man.
This day. This day was the day the hearts of the strongest men I have ever known wept.
This day. This day will forever be wrapped in loss and darkness.
This day. This day was one of the hardest days of my life.

You will never be forgotten Bradley Robert Sprout. Always and forever in our hearts.

I love you, my big brother, my angel.

Father and Son together forever

Such a handsome devil that adopted brother of mine

On top of the world spreading his dad's ashes
Doing the thing he loved Diving.
On the way up to spread his dad's ashes
My brother and Brad on my brothers wedding day

My tattoo in memory of Brad. Lil' Sprout

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Turn that frown upside down

Whenever I am having a bad day my mind drifts to the life lessons I have learned from watching numerous Will Ferrell movies.
I mean honestly the man is a comic genius and whenever I am feeling down it only takes one or two step brothers memes or gifs to put a pep in my step.

When your brother is being a real douche:

When you are mourning a loss:

When a conflict arises:

When you feel sexual assualt is on the horizon:

Just keepin it real kids.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Dear Crashley,

Dear Crashley,

I hate to break it to you but you are now 26 years OLD. Not young. Old. It is time my friend to make some hard fast changes in life. First of all you should clean out your closet. I mean you still have things hangin in that mother from highschool. Yes highschool. I hate to break it to you but your pink pumas are not awesome any more. Second you should probably also try to ween yourself off of sleeping with that stuffed dog and pig from highschool... on second thought nah. You need those little muffins.

Next thing on my list to address with you is your complete and utter obsession with pajamas. I mean you own more pajamas than high heels. Also it is time you start waking up at a reasonable hour and stop hiting the snooze button 17 times. You do have to look like an adult when you go to work. Speaking of being an adult you should try this crazy thing adults do called exercise. Yeah I know it's "not your thing" but you know what else is not your thing? Having an ass the size of Texas.

I know you have high hopes that Hunter Hayes is magically going to fall madly in love with you at first glance but I think we might need to lower our standards a pinch. I know I know... it's hard when  you know that you were made for someone but it might be time to move on to a more realistic goal like Craig Gentry with the Texas Rangers, that might be a more reasonable choice.

Also you should know that your love for Justin Bieber is okay. It will soon be shown that the Biebs is here to stay. I know he is hitting a rough patch but it will be okay. Just stay strong.

Crashley I will say this I am incredibly proud of you for managing to have an iphone for over a year now and only misplacing it once and it was recovered even! You go girlfriend! That might be a new record for you for sure! You might even be allowed to get a big girl camera soon if you keep up the good work.

There has been something I have been meaning to bring up to you... I know it is a sensitive subject but it might be time to discuss your love affair with Jack. As in Jack Daniels. I know you just can't say no to him when he is calling your name on a Saturday night but sometimes you have to learn to say no. You have to stop wearing your wishbone where your back bone should be. Man up and put that sweet, sultry man in his place. You don't always have to spend your Saturday night wrapped in his embrace.

All in all Crashley I am pretty proud of you, you have made a lot of progress in your last 2 years since the ole' divorce. Keep up the good work short stuff and keep on keepin on!

Monday, April 15, 2013

The trials and tribulations of online dating...

So remember how I told you all that I had taken the plunge and signed up for an online dating site?
Go here to read up on that little confession.
And then remember how my first online date experience was great?
Here's the story of that first online date.
So things were looking good, not a complaint.
That quickly changed.
Not that it went bad but it just quickly became apparent that we weren't really a 91% match after all.
And that is ok.
That's the point of dating right?
Anyway so I went on my second online date.
Guess what?
It wasn't bad either!
I might be really good at this online dating stuff you guys!
So some things I have learned about myself through this process?
I am a self sabotoger. I typically push people away because that is easier than risking getting hurt.
I have stopped doing that. I realized I was doing that and have worked hard at not doing that this time around.
I have learned that I am really good at communicating.
I have learned that I am really good at standing up for myself, something that I was incapable of doing a few years ago.

This online dating it's teaching me a thing or two.

Friday, April 12, 2013

This is the true story of 7 sorority girls picked to reunite

What do you get when you put 7 retired sorority girls in a winery bungalow in the middle of no where for one weekend?


Dance parties.


Hair spray.

Loud music.

boob grabbing

Winery hopping.


Friday, April 5, 2013

I confess

I confess that I have more fun at work than should be allowed. I basically get to hang out with one of my BFF's for 8 hours and get paid. IN YO FACE!

Yep we do this at work.

I confess that I hate doing laundry.

I confess that I am addicted to my Keurig. Thank goodness I got a hook up at starbucks and get k-cups fo free!

I confess that I love sweet tea. But it must be sweet enough to taste like diabetes.

I confess that I have serious conversations with my dogs sometimes. I might need counseling.

I confess I already go to counseling. Several times a month.

I confess that Papa Chuck colors my hair. And I ain't mad about it.

I confess I have a terrible habit of pushing dudes away. But I'm really workin on that.

I confess I think I might be dating the male version of myself. Like fo rizzle, homeboy worries more than I do and he is constantly thinking of the worst. Holy cannoli lets just have some fun. Let go and let God homeslice.

I confess that this weekend in wine country with my sorority sisters is going to be a ball. A real hoot.

Our house, the doll house!

I confess that I really enjoy shower beers. Like something fierce. Drinking in the shower is so relaxing.

shower beer.

I confess that Bridgett and I are slightly awkward at work. We share far too much with people at work and they either love it or hate it. Life's a dance homeslice.

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