Friday, June 27, 2014

Growing Pains

It seems like every time I hop on Facebook or twitter or buzzfeed or one of the other million and a half websites I troll daily I see some post about "What I learned in my 20's" or "Things I gave up in my 30's" or "How my friendships changed after college".

Some of them are relevant. And some of them hit home. Some of them remind me of the things I should spend more time focusing on. Others make me just want to smack the shit out of whoever thought it was a good idea to tell a whole demographic what life should look like.

I mean, how on earth are these supposed to be actual guidelines that people look to? No two stories are alike. I mean hell I am 27. I have lost friends to tragic death but never a family member. I have loved and lost. I have no children. I didnt land my "career" until 8 months ago.

Yet Sally Sue down the street has been working in her career for the last 5 years, is married has 3 kids and owns a house.

There is absolutely no way in hell that our lives look alike. At all. I mean sure we might both like to drink wine or go shopping. We might both wish that we had more time for the people we love. But how dare anyone sit on their cushy computer chair or their hipster stool and tell me what is ESSENTIAL that I figure out in my 20's. Or what I should expect in my 30's.

Take for example my sister and I. I adore her, she is the greatest big sister in the universe. But our lives couldnt be any different. We grew up in the same home, with the same parents, we endured the same sort of crazy from our mother. We both like the same foods, drinks, places etc. We sound identical. She is my best friend. A complete copy of my heart. But our stories are oh so very different.

At 27 my sister had been married for 7 years. With her Husband for 10+ years total. Had a 5 year old and was getting ready for a baby. They owned a house. She hadn't quite found her niche as far as a career goes. She was strong, she had worked her way from nothing with her husband to build a life. And she had a sister who freeloaded off of her whenever she was in town.

I'm 27. Been married and divorced. Never owned a house. No kids. Have 3 roommates.

Our 30's look exceptionally different. And thats ok. If we all had a blueprint to follow life would be so boring. I can't imagine a world where there are guidelines of exactly what every phase of life will contain. And I dont ever want to fit into that mold.

I guess what I am trying to say is, thats the beautiful thing about life, its full of bumps and curves. Its completely unique and each and everyone of us gets to be the grand orchestrator, the artist, the writer of our very own story.
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