Thursday, May 15, 2014

I told you so...

This is your public opportunity to tell me "I told you so".
I am standing up and confessing that I was wrong.
You were right (you know who YOU are)
And it pains me to admit it.
But I can't deny it for even one tiny little millisecond.

Remember when I told all of you this little story about babies?  And then some people agreed and supported me. And some people said I used to feel that way, and some people said You will change your mind.

Well damn me. I have changed my mind. You were right. I needed to find the right person at the right time to show me how beautiful having children could be.

Now hold your horses everyone, NO I AM NOT KNOCKED UP. Childbirth still scares the living bejesus out of me, my IUD is still securely in place thank you very much and the manfriend and I are NO WHERE close to being ready to start trying to make a hairy little wolverine baby.

What that does mean is that I have found a person who I want to make a father. Does that make sense? Watching this man with children melts my heart and it would be a complete injustice to the world for him not to be a father. I want to make him a father some day when we are married and my uterus is on the verge of shriveling up and dying. Because he is going to be amazing. Like hold the phone adorable. Like this man was made to be a father sort of amazing. (which duh thats what God made us for but whatevs)

I don't know when it happened but somewhere along the last 8 months of being with manfriend the conversation of children came up (who am I kidding he asked me like 2 weeks in how I felt about having kids) and I said, well I could live without ever being a mom thats for sure. And he said I need to have kids. And for a minute I went into panic mode.

"How is this ever going to work? I don't want to push a human out of me?!?!"
"Oh dear lord I finally found a hot to trot hard working, real man and now this???"

It went on don't you worry but I will save you the glory of my anxiety ridden mind. And then I saw him with my nieces when we had a sleepover and I just knew. I would make this man a father, I love him far too much not to give him the things he desires and this is a thing I can do. Does it scare me to death to think this... UM HELLO HAVE YOU READ MY BLOG.... Does it totally piss me off that all of you were right and I was wrong. Well yeah  a lot infact. But, BUT one day, if that day comes, and he and I decide to have a little hairy wolverine baby (look we all know I am practically a grizzley bear and the manfriend aint lacking in the bodyhair department either) it will be loved, it will be cared for, I will endure 9 months of terrifying pregnancy and then push that watermelon out if I must and I will be oh so happy when I see that wolvering and especially when I watch manfriend melt with that little wolverine in his hands.


I mean honestly?

Tell me your ovaries arent exploding?
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