Except what happened at Old Navy for me was not nearly as enjoyable as what may or may not have happened at band camp.
If you have a slightly weak stomach I would suggest evacuating these premises because shit is about to get real.
Let me begin.
It was a brisk fall day in November. November 10th to be exact. A day I like to spend pre-celebrating my birthday. A day that is usually filled with joy and glee. Typically a little booze, a lot of food and of course shopping.
And just like any other year on November 10th I ventured out with my best friend in tow to enjoy the few simple things I love most. After enjoying a delicious bloody mary and watching Nebraska parade around Penn state
Then it happened.
A hot flash came on quick.
I literally said to Trashley "Ugh man I am getting so hot again".
No sooner did those words leave my mouth did a very unfamiliar and exceptionaly unwelcomed feeling begin to bubble in my tummy.
I couldn't do anything about it.
There was absolutely no stopping it.
I projectile vomitted all over the clearance section of Old Navy.
I was covered as the only reasonable thing I thought to do was put my hands over my mouth.
My face, my hands, my shirt covered.
Not to mention the puddle that I was standing over.
Trashley turned and shrieked "WHAT ARE YOU DOING"
And guess what. I felt fine immedietly after. Not dizzy, not light headed, nothing! FINE.
Never have I ever seen an Old Navy employee move so fast.
I was mortified but those ladies at Old Navy were the sweetest. They got me a chair, water, wipes to clean myself up with and a bag to put my puke covered shirt in.
I did my best to clean it up as well as I could.
I didn't want some poor girl moppin up my vomit.
So November 10th 2012 at about 2:00 in the afternoon is the time I projectile vomitted all over Old Navy.
And November 12 2012 is the day I went back and spent lots of money at Old Navy to make up for it.