I promise an update is on the way

Hey lovies! I promise very soon I wil update you on my past two weekends shenanigans! This week has been crazy to say the least at work but I have so much to share about D-Day weekend and my blogger date! An update it on the way!


Love ya nuggets!

A trip to the east and a blogger date

Today is the 22nd of February.
The day I despise more than any day of the year.
On this day in 2008 I dropped my husband off at the airport and said goodbye to him for an indefinite period of time.
I had no idea that this day would be the day that changed my life forever.

my wedding day me and papa chuck

On this day in 2011 my divorce was finalized.

I was blessed enough that we were able to have probably the easiest divorce in the history of divorces.

We didn't fight over anything.

We had lunch together after we filed.

We high fived on the court house steps.

As easy as it was my whole life changed that day.

It was the easiest and hardest thing that I have ever had to do.

In my heart I knew that we were making the best decision for ourselves.

But it hurt.

God did it hurt.

Happier days

2 years later and I try my hardest not to dwell, to trust in God's hands and know that it will be okay.
That I am okay and that this day marks the first day of the rest of my life.
So this year I decided to get out of dodge.
To go to a place that reminds me of happier times.
A place where memories together do not exist.
I am taking myself across the mountains back to Spokane where I went to college.
I plan on surrounding myself with people I love.
Including a little lady some of you may know Dani!

Dani!

Sorority sisters, big bros, and a blogger date.

Love my big bro!

I can't wait.

Today is the day that I started the rest of my life. 

Thank you God.

Blog Talk

can we all just discuss how fantastic blogging really is?
we find links to ourselves all over the place in the stories we read by wkmen we never met.
That feels pretty powerful.
It feels amazing to find strength in a persons story that cuts to the core of you to know exactly what the words on that page reflect and the emotion that is behind it.

I love this blogging thing and i love all of you who laugh at me when i tell stories of peeing outside and share my anger over terrible dating dilemmas.

That being said i honestly am so grateful for the love and support i have received from all my bloggers while i was sick, when i was wild, and when i needed to be a man hater.

This weekend Dani and i are having a blogger date and i just can't wait!!

The things I can't or won't ever be post

Lets be real  for a minute here chicken nuggets.
Shits about to get real up in here.

I'm about to be sarcastic Sally, negative Nancy, bitter Betty.

AKA I'm about to be writing some bitter nasty man hating posts so get your self ready champs.

However I also promise to sprinkle in some pretty pictures, drunken tales of shenanigans and perhaps some really really entertaining stories about eating myself into a food coma.
Deal?
Great thanks party people.

I'd like to tell you all a few little facts.
Not fluffy fun facts but the nitty gritty real business.
The "I can'ts and I won't's" if you will.

I can't for the life of me ever take a person serious that wears UGG boots and a denim skirt. I don't care if it was cool on Laguna Beach. You aren't LC and this isn't 2005. Get outta here with that.

I won't ever be a housewife. I just can't. I mean doesn't a housewife usually enjoy doing things like baking and laundry? Sick. No thanks I'd rather dig through my laundry basket throw my slacks in the dryer for 5 than actually tackle that mountain of laundry my dogs love to sleep on. And don't even get me started on cleaning toilets. 

I can't stand mouth breathers. BREATHE THRU YOUR NOSE FOR EFF'S SAKE BEFORE I HAVE TO END UP ON AN EPISODE OF SNAPPED.

I won't ever be a 5 day a week blogger. I'm far too unorganized and far too lazy. I have a million things to say and a million ideas churning around but heaven knows that sometimes all I really want to do is crawl in bed with my cucumber vodka cocktail. So SUE ME...

I can't enjoy red wine. I mean I want to, I really really want to. I just can't. My mouth gets all dry and bitter and ugh I hate it. Please just give me my sweet moscato or my reisling so I can drink my juice like wine and get drunk like a classy broad.

I won't ever stop thinking I'm 21 rather than 26. I mean when did I cross over from "young wild irresponsible 21" to "you should have your shit together 26"? I can't even begin to wrap my mind around that shit. No thanks.

I can't diet. I just can't. Not unless you want to stare into the eyes of the demon cobra that will suck the soul straight out of you. 

I won't make my bed every day. NO. I just won't. 

I can't trust anyone who doesn't love gravy. I can't even say anything else about this topic.

I can't even begin to understand how ANYONE can not be in love with Harry Potter.

On that note I won't be anyones friend who doesn't understand my profound love for HP. Get it or get out?

I can't and I won't ever, and I mean EVER work on my birthday.

I can't even begin to explain my very real and very serious fear of EVER getting pregnant. I'll pass.

I won't ever get tired of taking naps and I want to do it for the rest of my life as many times a week as I can.

I can't even begin to explain the depth of love and pride I have for my nieces and nephews. I just can't even begin. I love those nuggets like whoaa.

I won't ever stop talking to my dogs. Even if I sound insane.

I can't even believe people don't like whiskey. I can't. I can't believe I used to be one of those people.

I won't ever understand why dating has to be SO damn complicated. I won't ever understand why a man can't just be real, say real things, mean real things and than align his actions with his words. Am I cray cray for thinking people should say what they mean and mean what they say?

And that my friends are things I can't and won't ever be.

Get drunk, get fat, get happy.

Can we just talk about all of these "I love my boyfriend and husband posts right now"?
Or the show you're man he is the best posts?
Look we all know you love your man, otherwise why the would you be with him.
And obviously he is amazing because he takes 101 million pictures of you for your blog and or poses for said pictures with you.
I get it he is great.
But he isn't great all the time.
No I don't expect anyone to air their dirty laundry on le blog but lets get real ladies your man pisses you off.
Odds are tomorrow on the day of love he is gonna piss you off.
You probably thought of this amazing spectacular gift for him, put a ton of thought into it, made sure he would love it, crafted until your fingers bled, and spent way too much money.
Odds are he thought about your gift like yesterday.
Okay, okay I am being harsh not all men are procrastinators and I am sure some of you will be showered with amazing michael kors watches, tory burch flats, beautiful sparkling jewels and all sorts of other lovely gifts.
But why is it SOOOO important that this happens tomorrow?
I'll tell you this I would rather be with a man who goes out of his way to do the small things every day than one that drops a boatload on one day.
Fold my laundry and I promise you will get laid buddy.
Take my pups for a walk, automatic nookie sesh.
Do the dishes? Don't even get me started!

Look I'm not trying to be all negative nancy and rain on everyones love parade but can we be real?

Most of us are going to spend our valentines day a lot like I have spent my last hmmmm 10.
With a meal fit for a fat kid and a man hating comedy.
And guess what, I pretty much love it that way.
I love that I have no expectations for this day of love.
While the rest of the population is waiting on pins and needles to see if the guy will rock their socks off I'm over here like "hey y'all I just wanna get drunk get fat and be happy."

Last year on valentines day I got a flat tire on my way to my boyfriends.

I immediately had to go get said tire fixed which after an hour of waiting they informed me they couldnt get my damn tire off my car so I said air that bitch up and I'll take it to my man.

On the way I stopped for a cheeseburger and a chicken sandwich which I inhaled in 3 minutes.

Upon my arrival le boyfriend (also known as I broke up with you because you wear too much make up guy) had to bring himself out into the cold of the parking lot lay on the ground hammering at my tire for 30 minutes before getting it off and then put my spare on. What a gem.

Guess what I got him for ole' love day?

A costco pack of his favorite kind of gum.

Guess what he got me?

80 bucks worth of cheese. Which I cut and placed on a cheese plate while he showered.

And that folks was probably the best valentines day I have had with a signifcant other.

My point is, I have always been my best valentine.

I know exactly what I like.

Tomorrow after I coach those 6, 5 year olds at gymnastics and shower them with ring pops and all sorts of sugary treats I will go  home eat something smothered in gravy and drink a bottle of cucumber vodka.
And I'm gonna be pretty happy too.
Like I always say folks:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Whiskey is cheaper than dinner for two!

Real talk chicken nuggets real talk.

The longer I live

The longer I live the more I am convinced that I was not wired to be in a actual relationship.
Don't get me wrong I would love to have that perfect relationship with someone I love and care about but I swear as soon as I start to get feelings for someone that crazy switch flips right on...
Whats that about?
As the 2 year anniversary of my marriage officially being over nears I sit back and reflect.
One broken relationship after the other until I got married.
Followed by one 4 almost 5 year struggle to force a marriage to work.
Followed by one broken attempt at dating after the other.

So here I am.

Again. It took all of one month for me to turn back into a cold hearted man hater.

Dating truly is for the birds.

I am quite literally exhausted of dating.

I am quite literally completely frustrated with any one with a weiner. (yes I just said weiner).

So what happened?

I was all hearts and butterflies for a month.

Well as usual the guy I was seeing turned into a full blown captain douche.

And I just sit here confused and trying to figure out how I am here again.

So I am at a crossroads wondering if maybe just maybe I am supposed to be a lone ranger.

And ya know I am not all that devestated about it.

I don't feel some void in my life that needs to be filled.

I am not anxiously waiting to have children.
Maybe it will be ok to just be me.
To fill my life with travel, friends, food and adventure.
Maybe just maybe God is meant to be the only love of my life.
Well and my dogs of course.

Maybe thats ok.

Maybe my story is a little different than I imagined it would be.

And maybe thats ok.

Maybe I am ok.

Until I figure it out I plan to keep doing exactly what I am doing.

Be young, happy, carefree and alone.

Maybe that's ok.

For now it's time to do some healing.

Physically and emotionally.

February really is my least favorite months.

And yes I just did have a pity party on my blog.

Deal with it.

It's my blog and I can cry if I want to.

A blog takeover

Rooskey and Bella thought it was about time they got a little spotlight on this here blog so after much begging I finally obliged and agrred to let them take over this mess... without further introduction I give you my heart and soul Rooskey and Bella.

Hey there chicken nuggets it's me Rooskey, or as I prefer to be called bear. I don't know why my mom insisted on giving me a Russian name when I am clearly anything but. I mean hello I'm Mexican American! Sometimes my mom can just be a real freak. I mean honestly.

Also i just can't help but wonder why she is so stingy with the treats. Something about me being over weight. I like to think that I am just big boned and made of steel. I mean look at these legs! I am a stone cold fox and hot to trot if you ask me.

A few of my most favorite activities are sniffing out anything that I can possibly eat, my mom calls it crummy searching. I also could play fetch for hours. Oh and don't get me started about when mom actually gives me one of thos peanut butter toys. I go hog wild. The only problem is my baby sister can be a real pain and she growls any time I look at her when we have them.

I'd have to say my all time favorite activity is spooning with my mom. I make a perfect little spoon if you ask me. But once again that pesky little sister of mine tries to butt in and I just don't understand what she doesn't get about me being the oldest. Obviously that means I rank closest spot to my mom.

I would never admit it but I also really love my god mom. Almost more than my real mom but don't tell her that it's me and Sarah's little secret. It may be because she slips me snacks and chips whenever my mom isn't looking. Keep on bringin the cheetos my way auntie Sarah!

I'd have to say my least favorite thing is when my mom gets this crazy idea to take me on a walk or something. She seems to think I like this. Although I don't know where she would get an idea like that I mean being dragged around on a leash up dand down hills? No thanks lady. Get real. Anyway that sister of mine is pestering me as usual so I guess I will let her take over.

Hey there ladies it's me Bella. Also known as the queen bee. If I had to compare myself to someone you might know I would say I am much like a k-9 version of Regina George. Everyone wants to be like me and I am completely fabulous. Plus I make the rules around this joint.

Everyone knows that what I say goes. I guard my treats, my water and food bowls and any particular place I want to lay with a fierceness. I can't be told what to do.

I prefer to lay on the highest point I can get myself to on something soft, furry, and fluffy. This way I can look down upon my minions. Aka the humans.
My mom sometimes thinks I have some sort of eating disorder but in reality I just like to torture my brother and make him watch as my bowl full of food sits there staring him in the face. He hates it and I love it.

I hate being brushed and I hate having a bath. Mom insists on taking me to a groomer but I prefer to be all natural and thats a fact.

I love to go on walks something my brother despises. I just love to have the wind flowing through my fur. I also really love it when mom takes me hiking and don't tell her but I love to jump in every speck of mud I can get my paws on. No really and Mom just hates it.

Well kids I gotta jet there is a pillow with my name on it and a blanket to snuggle on.

An update on my cry for help...

A little update for those of you who took the time to read about my little sick self.
Yesterday I went in for my interview for our re-design at work.
I think for being on my death bed I pretty much rocked it.
After A LOT ( I MEAN A LOT) of work to not look like a zombie for the first time in weeks, I waltzed in there and answered all 10 peoples questions like I was feeling like a million bucks.
Although in reality I was nervous, nausea's, on the verge of tears due to the fact that I opted not to take any of my pain medications out of concern that I would be so drugged up I couldn't function.
All in all the worst part of the whole 15 minute process was when they asked me which clinic I wanted to be at and the two managers that had been battling it out for me leaned in real close and held their breath.
In the end I am happy and relieved it is over.

On to the next exciting part of my day (catch the sarcasm if you will).
My best friend Sarah met me at the hospital for my first ever CT scan where I proceeded to lay on a bed with my arms above my head and an IV of contrast dye flowing through my veins.
Note to self, contrast dye makes you feel like a warm shot of fireball or whiskey on a cold day.
Oh and is also makes you feel like you are quite literally pissing your pants.
Anyway I hate needles so the worst part was having that IV placed and especially because he had to "dig" a little to find my vein. Great thanks!
So this morning my doctor called and it would appear that I have a small 3 millimeter nodule on my lung that is consistent with inflamation so basically from all this coughing I developed a "nodule" that will eventually go away and is not something to worry about.
So basically we still don't know why I am coughing so terribly but our plan is to continue on with my 6 medications daily and if in 1-2 weeks I am not improving I will be sent to a pulmonologist for some additional testing to see if perhaps the cause is a new development of asthma or some sort of allergy.
So for now lets keep our fingers crossed that with lots of rest and lots of fluids and lots of magic medication I get better!

Thanks chicken nuggets for your love and support!!!

A cry for help...

I know I've been anything but a good blogger...
But maybe it's time for a little explanation and maybe you guys could cut me some slack and send me some positive vibes, prayers, thoughts.... Whatever it is you send.
All I know is I need them.

I have had a chronic cough for two months. Which has led to torn cartilage in my ribs. A total of probably 4 missed days of work in the last week and a half.
9 medications later, 1 chest X-ray, and allergic reaction to one of those medications and my doctor still doesn't know what is causing this unstoppable cough.
A cough I can live with.
Not knowing what is wrong with my body and being in constant discomfort I cannot.
So today I have a CT scan and while I hope and pray for an answer I am scared to death there is something very wrong with my body.
Not to mention remember that interview I told you guys about a couple Mondays ago?
It's today....
So your thoughts, vibes, prayers anything would me much appreciated chicken nuggets!
I am just so blessed that I have people like this to love and support me!