The no you didn't list

Admit it.

You have a list of things that people do that make you want to smack them.

Don't act all holy you know you do.

We all do.

I like to call it the "no you didn't list."

I would like to present to you my very own "no you didn't list."

Put your sassy pants on chicken nuggets it's time to go for a ride.

*I know you did not just touch my ipod. DO NOT change my music when we are in my car unless you want to be instantly smacked.

*I know you did not just refer to my fur babies as cats. They eat dog food, they bark, they growl and they sure as hell do not go to the bathroom in a cat box. They are dogs regardless of size.

*I know you did not just say that day drinking is for alcoholics.

*I know you did not just say something bad about my girl Paula.

*Are you wearing a denim skirt and we aren't at a country concert?

*Are you really blasting some gangsta rap in your mom's mini van?

*Did you just give me a blank stare when I referenced a Will Ferral movie?

*No you didn't just let your kid wipe their snotty nosed grimey little baby hands all over my office.

*No. No you didn't just let your kid tell you what to do. It's called a spanking.

*I know you aren't smacking your gum. I know you aren't.

*Did you just ask me what was going to happen in a movie we both are watching for the first time? Really?

*Did you just touch my food? Without asking?

And that my friends is a short list of things that I know you didn't do.