Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Things that really chap my ass

It seems today I need to vent about the things in this life that really rub me raw.
Things that put a serious kink in my chain.
I suppose I could make about 50 of these list and never be done but thats because I complain by nature.
A terrible charatcteristic none the less it is one that I possess so I might as well own it.


1. People who act entightled. I encounter about 80 of these people on a daily basis at work. I moved into my position about 6 months ago. Before that the two women that worked at the desk had been here for a long time. I hear on average "Well if "Sally" was here I wouldn't have to do this,  she knows me." Oh really? She does? Does she have your address and insurance information memorized? Get real.

2. People who give me shit because I have decided to eat healthy and lose a few lbs. Sorry I decided to make a change before I became a beluga whale. Feel free so S-my-D at any time.


3. People who can go days without shaving their legs. You dirty little betches. I can't go 5 hours without a full blown 5'oclock shadow. Me and black leg hair are ruling the world.


4. People who don't deserve to be parents. Some people suck at taking care of themselves the last thing you should be doing is birthing a child that requires a lot of care and attention. Look I know that I shouldn't be responsible for another life thus I have chosen not to birth any.

5. Speaking of not birthing any children a sure fire way to really chap my ass is to tell me "oh you are young you will change your mind" when I say I don't want to have kids. Look I am 26 effin years old I think I can make an informed decision about not wanting to push a watermelon out of my grape sized hole. I think I can make an informed decision that I would much rather travel, sleep and blow my money on myself than changing shitty diapers and not sleeping at night. Could I possibly change my mind? Perhaps. But when I say I am not interested in birthing children you should take that as a statement of fact.


6. Vegans. You really piss me off.

7. I really really really get pissed when one of my kids comes to gymnastics class and they have mangled feet. Look I have to touch those little gremlin feet and I don't want to do it if they are covered in dirt smell like they took a walk right through a cat box and then topped it off by letting them stew in sweaty gym socks. WASH YO FEET!

8. Don't tell me how to take care of my dogs. They are mine. They are healthy, happy and fat. They love me with all their heart and soul and I love them back even more. So please don't tell me what food to feed them, how to treat their allergies or that I need to socialize them. I like my dogs to be like me, honey badgers. They don't give a shit about anyone but me.


9. Do not for one moment think that if you walk up to my desk at work and start talking about how incompetent one of my medical providers is that I am going to continue to be pleasant to you. You are being rude, and ignorant. Get out of my face.


10. People who call back without listening to their messages. You could probably save a step if you did that fools.






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