Inspire me to not be a fatty

So I have decided to take the plunge and link up with Raven and Kristen on the Inspire Me Healthy Link Up.  I will be the first one to admit my body isn't perfect and I love to eat waaay too much. But I also know that with my family medical history I need to be proactive in choosing a healthy lifestyle to avoid the plagues of heart disease that run a muck in my family. I have done a lousy job of this in the last two years. While I am by no means obese or even “fat”.

I am uncomfortable with my body and that makes me unhappy. 

Any time I talk about my body or not feeling comfortable people look at me like I am crazy. I get told all the time “you are soo tiny though” “you can eat whatever you want”. Correction I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted and while yes my clothes size reflect a “tiny” body I do not feel comfortable when I see myself naked. 
I am the one who has to wash this body hunny and I don’t like the view. 
My problem is I love to cook and I love to eat yet I HATE the gym. I work a 9-6 shift so by the time I get home from work I am exhausted I don’t want to go to the gym and get home at 9 pm. Yet I really despise early mornings and can’t seem to make myself get my ass outta bed and to the gym in the morning. 
This is pure laziness I know. 

My goal is to use this link up as a way to stay accountable (that means you ladies). I do eat fairly healthy. I try not to binge and as much as I love bacon and comfort food I do not eat it as often as I would like to. I know myself well enough to know that changing my eating habits drastically makes for one IRRATE Ashley. I just can’t starve myself or turn down a craving. I know this. So what I am asking you ladies for is to help me stay accountable and actually use that gym membership. 

So here is my goal. I currently weigh 132 pounds. No not a lot but I stand at a tall 5’2. My typical weight has never exceeded 120. Except when I was a freshmen in college but that is neither here nor there. I would very much like to get back down to 115. I weighed 115 when my ex was deployed and I have never felt better about my body. My clothes fit I was toned and confident. I want to feel confident in my swimsuit and like I am beautiful. A woman can look however but if she doesn't feel confident she won’t show that to the world. I feel like if I can manage to get my ass outta bed and to the gym for 1 hour 3 times a week I can achieve this. It is going to take some time but I need to be patient and work towards my goal. My problem is I want results like yesterday. This is unrealistic. 

I plan on increasing my intake of water; decreasing my intake of soda and beer. 
I also know I MUST cut fast food completely out of my diet and start cooking healthier lunches to bring to work with me. 

Below is my current bikini picture. And below that is me at 115. I wanna be that girl again and exude confidence to the world!

Please excuse the horrible quality something is wrong with my iphone and I am not happy about it.

My head is literally hung in shame haha

Add caption

Flat tummy no suckin it in!

Please excuse that it looks like I wet myself. I didn't my swimsuit was wet.

Proud of that sorta six pack!

Will all you lovely ladies hold me accountable? Will you girls kick my booty if I don’t get outta bed because someone needs too! I promise todo the same to all of you! Also if you want a text partner feel free

to e-mail (messofbeautifulchaos@gmail.com) me your number I have found that having someone to text/talk to when you need to fight a craving is a great distraction. I have read that a craving lasts 5 minutes at the most so if you can distract yourself you are golden!