Oh hello Monday you dirty bish...

Why is Monday such an awful day?
Why does Monday feel the need to walk up to you and slap you in the face after throwing her lemon drop on your favorite top?
Why does Monday feel the need to point out all your weaknesses and as if that's not enough do it in front of a hot dude?
I need to know Monday WTF is your problem?
I mean what have I EVER done to you?
I wake up; I go to work I try to do my adult duties and responsibilities but you make it REALLY hard when you are smack talking and throwing sucker punches all damn day!
I want to be friends. I want to be able to wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed happily greeting you with a cup of coffee and a fresh scone but every time I do you spit that very same coffee all over my khaki pants and throw that scone up all over my desk.
It's just rude.
To be quite honest I am pretty damn sick of your bad attitude Monday.
I am thinking a break might just be in order.
Tuesday seems like it is a pretty legit gal.
A real gem if you ask me.
She holds promise and a sparkle in her eye.
You Monday... you hold nothing but dark despair and a look of pure evil.
Almost like looking into the eyes of Lucifer himself.
Tuesday? Tuesday welcomes me with open arms.
She says to me "Don't worry about that Bish Monday, she is just jealous of Friday and Saturday. 
They used to be best friends but they had a falling out."
Tuesday accepts me and all my requests.
Tuesday it gentle and kind.
I can't wait for Tuesday.
Once Tuesday comes to my door that means I don't have to tango with that dirty Bish Monday for another 6 days.
So you know what Monday, you may be a dirty Bish but I am one crazy Bish and I will not let you bring me down.
You may have won the battle this time Monday but next week you are in for one hell of a fight.

Peace out Nuggets I gotta get myself to bed so I can wake up in Tuesdays gentle arms.